Life and relationships are not linear. They are complex, ever-shifting, much like the tides of the ocean. The emotions we feel, the connections we have with the people we love, are subject to the natural ebb and flow that governs all things. Yet, in relationships, we often forget this truth, expecting permanency and constancy where fluidity is the rule.
When we love someone, we don’t love them with the same intensity, in the same way, every moment of every day. Love is not a constant force, and it is impossible to feel the same way about someone all the time. Still, many of us wish for just that. We want relationships to be solid, unchanging, a source of consistent comfort and affection. We fear the moments when love seems to pull back, like the tide retreating from the shore. We resist the ebb, holding on tightly, scared that the tide will never return. This fear is deeply rooted in our desire for security. We crave the idea that love should be steady and permanent, and we forget that its true beauty lies in its capacity to change and evolve.
But just like the sea, relationships are fluid. They grow, change, and shift over time. Instead of fearing the natural ebb, we need to learn to accept it as part of the journey. The moments when love seems distant are not signs of failure or the end. They are opportunities for growth, reflection, and the deepening of the bond. Love, at its core, is about freedom—the freedom to grow alongside each other, to move with the tides, and to allow space for individual evolution.
There is a misconception that true security in a relationship comes from ownership, control, or permanence. We think that if we hold on tightly enough, if we expect certain things from our partners, we can create a stable foundation that will never falter. But in reality, the only true security in love comes from letting go of those expectations. It comes from living fully in the present, accepting the relationship as it is right now, without the weight of the past or the worry of the future.
Relationships, in this way, are like islands. They are bounded, surrounded by the vast sea of life, visited and left by the tides. They are moments in time that we experience together, but they are also moments of separation, of individual growth. The strength of an island does not come from its ability to keep the sea at bay, but from its resilience in the face of the ever-changing tides.
When we stop clinging to the idea of constancy, we can begin to see the beauty in the ebb and flow. We can find peace in the intermittency of love and life. Relationships, like all things, are dynamic. They are not meant to be static or unchanging. They are meant to evolve as we do, growing and adapting with time.
To truly love someone, we must accept this fluidity. We must be willing to experience the highs and lows, the moments of closeness and distance, knowing that both are essential to the dance of life. Love is not about always being close, always feeling the same way. It’s about trusting in the rhythm, understanding that the ebb is as important as the flow, and that both are necessary for the growth of the relationship.
In the end, the security we seek in relationships doesn’t come from trying to hold on to what once was or from fearing what might be. It comes from living fully in the present, embracing the natural rhythm of love, and finding comfort in the knowledge that true connection is not found in permanence but in the freedom to move with the tides.
When we can embrace this truth, we unlock a deeper, more meaningful way of loving. One that isn’t tied to expectation or fear, but is grounded in the beautiful, ever-changing flow of life and love.